I'm 34 years old.
I have had many failures, false starts and tragedies in life. But I've also had a lot of saving grace and redemption.
When I was 16, my mom died of cancer. I was a total mama's boy and it was devastating to our family.
When I was 21, I had a total mental and emotional breakdown that landed me in the hospital. I had to delay my senior year of college and stay home for a full year to recover. I eventually recovered and returned to school to finish my degree.
When I was 26, I got way too drunk, got into a fight and got my jaw broken in two places. Luckily, the fracture was not displaced and I did not need surgery, and my jaw fully healed without intervention.
Throughout my twenties, I made so many mistakes in life, career and romance. I hopped from job to job, apartment to apartment, and project to project without making much meaningful progress on anything. My twenties eventually became the darkest period in my life. I became lonely, isolated, addicted and completely lost.
Things didn't turn around for me until right before COVID. I eventually had to move out of my apartment and in with my dad at 28 years old, shortly before the pandemic began. It was quite a humbling period, but I had finally succumbed to the fact that I was not doing well and needed some support.
The next five years were a period of hyper-compressed growth and redemption for me. While many people experienced their own dark period during the pandemic, for me it represented total rebirth and light.
I quit the cannabis business I had co-founded and worked on for two years and got a simple, full-time, bottom of the ladder job packaging cannabis for a massive multi-state operator. I parlayed this into an inventory and operations specialist role. I eventually left the cannabis industry and got a customer service job in the medical device industry, learned the business and internal systems, got promoted to supervisor, then parlayed my experience and skills into an IT system analyst position.
Throughout this period, I discovered the indie hacker community, learned to code, built a small freelance design business and worked on side projects. I also made it my top priority to focus on relationships and finding a girlfriend. I had some rough pandemic dates but then met my soulmate. We got engaged after 6 months, married after one year, then shortly after had our first kid, a son.
I'm 34 years old now.
I have a loving wife, a beautiful (and naughty) toddler son, and most importantly--we have our health and live in a safe, positive environment. I have many, many goals still and things that I want to accomplish. Financial independence, homeownership, and building something of my own are all on that list. But I feel truly wealthy already with most of the boxes checked.
I guess my main lesson in sharing this version of my story is that there is always a chance for redemption, no matter how low you sink. Also, starting from a foundation of values is hugely important, as is leaning on your family and close friends for support. Everything began to click for me when I allowed myself to get help, and focused on the things that truly matter to me--relationships, family, health and living an honorable life.
Even though being a dad of a young toddler is a ton of work, and harder when you haven't "made it" yet financially, life feels so much simpler and easier in many ways. Every decision becomes crystal clear. All I need to do is funnel it through my baseline mental model and ask myself, "What's best for my son and my family?" and the answer reveals itself.
I wake up every day now excited to pour some coffee and chip away at building a better life for our family.